Accidents Make the Heart Grow Fonder


We’re in Indianapolis until Monday. We got here last night. After leaving our car in Iowa City in a friend’s driveway, we met up with my parents and drove to Rushville, Illinois (“on the way”, according to my Pops) and got to Indianapolis about 10 hours later.

After loafing around for several hours, we decided we were tired and it was time to go to bed.

“Joey, did you carry the suitcase in?” I asked.

“Isn’t it in the car?”

I knew the answer to this question was “No”; The Kid and I had just spend an hour in the back of the van (there were no seats) while we watched a Christmas light show.

“No, it’s not in the car.” As I said this, my heart sank. I began to feel a lump grow in my throat. My eyes began to burn. I thought Don’t cry! Don’t cry!, So I wilted instead.

Our suitcase was still in the trunk of our car. Parked in Iowa City. Seven hours away. Our toiletries and colognes were freezing, right along with Henry’s extra food that I had (intentionally) left in the car.

Those of the family who were still up decided that it we deserved everything we got. (Namely Grandpa was the chief proponent of this opinion.)

To make matters worse, I had eaten some “decorative fruit” about three hours earlier (We assume it was decorative, it’s from Germany so we can’t ready the label. It tastes like wax. Willi? Help?). After I admitted that I ate one of them, and that it pretty much tasted like mulch, I was met by several wide-eyed and astonished looks. The fruit candy had looked pretty real to me, but Grandpa told me in in No Uncertain Terms that it was decorative. An interior designer had given him the fruit basket, after all.

That, and I’d worn my socks two days in a row so I could save my clean ones for the days here in Indiana. (Seriously, who wears their socks twice anyway?! I’m never doing that again. One never knows when one might be without one’s suitcase.)

We were all fairly certain that there was little to no hope for the Woestmans, and Joey and I put on Grandpa and Grandma’s pajamas and went to bed. I have never hoped for clothes at Christmas as I have this Christmas.

Oh. One more thing. This morning, my trusty 2nd piercing earring (of three years!) fell out of my ear and went down the drain. I am distraught.

Merry Christmas, everybody! I’m going to go back to eating my Brie and crackers. (They were right next to the “decorative fruit” in that basket…)


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