I remember wh…

I remember when Analie was born and Joey gently handed her to me, barely an armful of person to hold on to. I looked down at her, surprised to find myself staring into the eyes I didn’t recognize. After nine months of weaving our lives tightly together within the fabric of a shared space, in the breath of a moment we were torn apart and we became strangers.

This week I looked into the face of my daughter and realized  that somewhere between the first time I met her and that specific sliver of time, Ana had become more familiar to me than the back of my own hand. More comfortable than the DTS fleece I stole from Joey and wear on snappy Fall evenings. More precious than oxygen; I cannot breathe if I think about life without her. More alive than I realized she could ever be. And every day I am folding up new memories and stuffing them in the Hope chest of my mind, knowing that someday when I feel bereft I can open the lid and all this joy will come pouring out.

<blockquote>

I looked at my daughter tonight as I laid her in bed, and I held her sweet face in my hands and I said “Ana, Mommy loves ALL of you.”</blockquote>

And she grinned at me, unaware of the significance of my words and how they weighed on me.

I may have given birth to a stranger, but she is now my heart and soul.

I am admittedly extra pensive this week, my family has experienced a tragedy which has truly rocked many of us to the core. Each day I feel like I’m looking at Ana through different pairs of glasses. Some make me joyful. Others fill me with fear.

I can’t protect her forever, but I can love ALL of her every day.

I remember wh…

 

I remember when Analie was born and Joey gently handed her to me, barely an armful of person to hold on to. I looked down at her, surprised to find myself staring into the eyes of a stranger. After nine months of weaving our lives tightly together within the fabric of a shared space, in the space of a moment we were torn apart and we became strangers. 

 

This week I looked into the face of my daughter and realized  that somewhere between the first time I met her and that specific sliver of time, Ana had become more familiar to me than the back of my own hand. More comfortable than the DTS fleece I stole from Joey and wear on snappy Fall evenings. More precious than oxygen; I cannot breathe if I think about life without her. More alive than I realized she could ever be. And every day I am rolling up new memories and stuffing them in the Hope chest of my mind, knowing that someday when I feel bereft I can open the lid and all this joy will come pouring out. 

 

 

<blockquote>

I looked at my daughter tonight as I laid her in bed, and I held her sweet face in my hands and I said “Ana, Mommy loves ALL of you.”</blockquote>

 

And she grinned at me, unaware of the significance of my words and how they weighed me.

 

I may have given birth to a stranger, but she is now my heart and soul. 

 

And I may be extra pensive this week, my family has experienced a tragedy which has truly rocked many of us to the core. Each day I feel like I’m looking at Ana through different pairs of glasses. Some make me joyful. Others fill me with fear. 

 

I can’t protect her forever, but I can love ALL of her every day. 

 

Shhhhhhhhh…..

Hello.

This blog has been silent for awhile.

Want to know why?

Partially my life was temporarily boring.

Secondarily, I was self-censoring. Because sometimes I feel like I’m all TMI up in your business and I just want to be quiet for a bit.

Thirdly, The Kid was moving my blog to WordPress.org instead of the .com it had previously been hosted on. Or something. I have no idea what he did. I just know it confused me, so I didn’t want to post something before he was ready for me to and subsequently throw off the mojo of the entire Internet.

But anyway, HI.

The Pile.

When we moved into our house a couple years ago, we inherited a brush pile. It was big and it was ugly, and we should have made the former homeowners get rid of it before we took possession.

But we didn’t. And then we cut down 12 trees and made it worse.

Now it’s just a huge eyesore.

We intend to chip it in a few weeks now that everything is dry, but it’s still super embarrassing. Especially considering its about the size of Noah’s Ark.

Oh, and this is the side view. I couldn’t back up enough to get the whole thing in the shot, so just imagine its of epic proportion and you’ll be spot on.

As the spring and summer progress, we intend to chip The Pile and put it around trees and as the base for the playground Ana doesn’t yet have.

Frankly I don’t care what we do with it, just so long as The Pile is GONE. hehe.

So embarrassing.

Anyways, we got a burn barrel so we can burn twigs and sticks that fall weekly, and we don’t start this Pile nonsense once again in the fall when there is no more Pile to throw sticks on.

CHECK IT OUT, YO.

Joey spent the rest of the day burning twigs and our Christmas tree. I have to say, the Christmas tree was super dramatic. It burned super hot and Analie watched it in a daze and said “wow…wow…wow…”

It was really cute.

Good news: The Pile has shrunk. Bad news: you can’t tell yet.

Happy Mess

Do you know how fast I can pick up my house after it has been trashed by an Analie and an Angus?

Including emptying the dishwasher, about 15 minutes flat.

We have toy bins all over the house which empty quickly and tidy quickly.

I say this because my entire house was destroyed by Thing 1 and Thing 2 this morning. It was amazing. Every single room except the purple bathroom (which I gate off so they can’t sneak in there and unroll all the toilet paper) was covered in toys, soda cans or Joey’s socks.

Analie and Angus were so happy with themselves.

We had to go to the doc this morning for Ana’s 15 month checkup, and I just had to laugh as I glanced over the house before we walked out the door.

Here’s my rationale. It’s a lot less stressful to take a few minutes to clean up the house from a happy mess made by curious children than to try to keep an angry baby happy while I try to get important work done.

The house is now clean. My children are napping. And I’m sure I’ll get to clean up their mess again before they go to bed.

Should we stay or should we go.

Joey looked at me this evening before we went to dinner (which has been an absolute fiasco in an of itself, we are now standing in line 40 people long at Qdoba because all the restaurants on our list were closed) and said, “you know, we could check out tonight and head home now.”

To which I said, “why???”

And he was all, “I thought you might miss our Miss.”

Suuuuuure.

We’re going home tomorrow as planned.